Methods Used To Initiate Breakups

Recently, I had heard quite a number of stories related by my friends on the methods used to initiate relationship breakups. Technology is commonly used to initiate breakups as the initiators are unwilling to meet fact-to-face with their going-to-be exs.

Friend #1 : "How could he simply send a SMS to me on one night saying that he wanted to breakup ? I wanted to sit down and talk to him but he refused and changed his handphone number."

Friend #2 : "My friend was dumped by his girlfriend with a short and simple email full of abbreviations sent to him. She did not even want to discuss with him on their problems."

Friend #3 : "My friend received a fax from her boyfriend that he had gone abroad to study and wanted a breakup."

Friend #4 : "I was once notified of a breakup by my ex-boyfriend on my handphone voice recording. He refused to meet me even though I had hoped to talk about the breakup face-to-face."

To me, it seems that these breakup initiators are not serious about their relationships in the first place. It is understandable that a boy-girl relationship may not always work out successfully but the initiators should discuss the breakups with their partners face-to-face on their problems though they may not wish to remain as friends with their ex-partners. To inform their ex-partners on their breakup intentions via written and voice messages is a gesture showing no respect and bad attitude to other people. Hopefully, there are not many of these incidents happening.

Relatives Turning To Strangers

Mentioning my uncle's funeral procession brings out another problem on relationships. I had met many relatives in my uncle's funeral procession. However, it seems that as most of us had grown older, our relationships had also cooled with age.After greeting my other uncles, aunties and cousins, we could not seem to find any topics for our conversation, all of us just remained in silence till one of us managed to find some other distractions and excused himself or herself from the crowd.

I can still remember vividly the good old times that I had with my close cousins. My mother used to bring us to my grandma's house where she stayed with my eldest uncle's family. We used to spend the whole afternoon playing carroms, board games, acting out our own stories using dolls and many types of non-computer games. My mother had to persuade me to go home during evening as I had too much fun and was unwilling to leave.

Another young cousin and I also used to talk for hours when we were young. We would discuss on different topics happily and often forgot to keep track of the time we had spent. All these memories have become history now.

As we all grow older, all of us become distant and behave like new friends introduced for the first time. Our relationships are not as warm as they used to be. Some people have told me that this is associated with growth as we become acquainted with more people in the society, we tend to form our own perspectives of other people and may find ourselves having different ideals, objectives and goals thus distancing ourselves from people whom we think have changed into someone unknown to us.

To me, even best friends have their own individual goals and ambitions. These do not hinder their deep friendships which last till the day one of them die. So, why can't cousins remain as warm cousins sharing each other's happiness, sadness, worries and grow old together ?

Fading Memories of The Dead And Mixed Feelings About Remembering

Last Sunday, I had attended my uncle's funeral procession. He had died of a long-term illness. During the funeral procession, it suddenly reminded me of my father's funeral procession ten years ago, my memories of the times with my father seemed to have faded away slowly, bit by bit, with the passing of each day.

Frankly speaking, my father and I had not been on very good terms. My father was a very strict person who never liked talkback, rebellious behaviour and would become very angry if his children disagreed with his decision. Though we often had arguments, he had been a very big influence on my habit of reading news and my liking for soccer. I can still remember he often liked to give me his opinions and comments on the daily news reported in the newspapers and during world cup seasons, he would always wake me up in the middle of the night to watch the live telecast of the matches.Sad to say, I cannot remember the exact news content we had discussed, the matches we had watched and other memories of the old times we had together.

As I was walking along with the cortege behind the car carrying my uncle's coffin for the final rites, I found myself wondering if my uncle's immediate family, relatives and friends would also start losing memories of my uncle after saying the final goodbyes.

Am I unfeeling, cold and heartless ? Do most people have the same feelings as I do ? I am beginning to wonder how much I would remember of my father when I grow very old ......