Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Fading Memories of The Dead And Mixed Feelings About Remembering

Last Sunday, I had attended my uncle's funeral procession. He had died of a long-term illness. During the funeral procession, it suddenly reminded me of my father's funeral procession ten years ago, my memories of the times with my father seemed to have faded away slowly, bit by bit, with the passing of each day.

Frankly speaking, my father and I had not been on very good terms. My father was a very strict person who never liked talkback, rebellious behaviour and would become very angry if his children disagreed with his decision. Though we often had arguments, he had been a very big influence on my habit of reading news and my liking for soccer. I can still remember he often liked to give me his opinions and comments on the daily news reported in the newspapers and during world cup seasons, he would always wake me up in the middle of the night to watch the live telecast of the matches.Sad to say, I cannot remember the exact news content we had discussed, the matches we had watched and other memories of the old times we had together.

As I was walking along with the cortege behind the car carrying my uncle's coffin for the final rites, I found myself wondering if my uncle's immediate family, relatives and friends would also start losing memories of my uncle after saying the final goodbyes.

Am I unfeeling, cold and heartless ? Do most people have the same feelings as I do ? I am beginning to wonder how much I would remember of my father when I grow very old ......

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